Caring for Yourself on Days When You Feel Insecure

If there’s one good thing that must come out of the pandemic, let it be that I was forced to look at parts of myself that I didn’t know existed. Of how incredibly insecure I was and how my past relationships suffered because of this. And that my insecurity stemmed from relying heavily on external validation from people I don’t know, like, or even respect.

When the pandemic deprived me of external validation, I had to discover how to validate myself and fulfill my own needs.

But alas, insecurity would still creep in.

That you can love yourself and still be insecure was a painful realization as I was entirely fixated on the idea that these two are mutually exclusive. That once I acknowledged my self-worth, I will never be insecure again.

But we all know that’s not the case.

Insecurity is just an emotion and like all other emotions, it comes and it goes. Here are some things I like to do that you can try when you start to feel like you’re falling into that pothole.

Move your body

Gym. Yoga. Running. Walking. Any type of sport. It doesn’t matter what you do. As long as you move your body, your thoughts will, by default, start to slow down. I like walking aimlessly around my neighborhood, discovering new places and things I never knew existed.

Write on a journal

If you haven’t tried journaling yet, now is the time. Dumping all your emotions on paper is unsurprisingly therapeutic. It’s like talking to a friend, except you’re the one doing the talking and listening. And if you’re doing both, there is a lot of room for learning. You might learn things about yourself that you’re not even aware of. I also like to think of my journal as an extension of my brain. Think of too many tabs open. A journal is just a whole new window to hold all the tabs you don’t even use.

Work on a project

I noticed that every time I feel insecure, it’s always when I see people living the life that I want to have. It’s like looking at other people’s flourishing gardens while neglecting my own. So when I actually sit my ass down and work on things that I had been pushing back on, it makes me feel better about myself. As long as it’s a project that you’re passionate about and not something you do to impress people.

Cultivate a hobby

If you’re not doing anything as a hobby, you are missing out on the most precious thing you can ever spend your time doing. Playing an instrument. Taking photos. Writing. Sewing. Reading. If you’re not sure where to start, list down five things you’re interested in and find one thing in common about them. For example, mine would be filmmaking, photography, storytelling, writing, and music. It would be too much for me to do all these things together so I try to combine everything that I find interesting in this one whole blog.

Get in the water

Our planet is made up of 70% water. Your body is too. And maybe there is a reason for that. If you live close to a body of water, take a dip and soak in all the positive energy to neutralize the negative ones. If you have no means to get into the ocean or if it’s too cold to jump in the river, a warm bath is my favorite option. Taking a shower will also do the trick. So get in there and clear your head.

Stay hydrated

Speaking of water, have you had some water today? Are you drinking enough? This may not make you completely get out of your insecure state but you don’t want to be feeling insecure and dehydrated.

Treating it as an emotion that could come and go turned on some switch in my brain. And that as long as you know where your center is, you can always recalibrate yourself back to what feels right and what feels good.